Planning a Funeral:
- Understanding the
Tricks of the Funeral Trade
- Self-defense for
Consumers
- Are you going to
be a willing victim?
There probably
are as many exceptional funeral directors as there are exceptional
teachers, excellent doctors, and wonderful spouses. Unfortunately,
there probably are as many bad morticians as there are bad teachers,
incompetent doctors, and ill-fated matches. But what stacks this law
of averages against the funeral consumer is that, although one will
move on in school, and one can change doctors or get a divorce, there's
only one funeral there's no second chance.
Therefore, you
- the funeral buyer - have a special burden to inform yourself about
your choices and educate yourself about the pitfalls. Most of us will
never arrange for more than one funeral in a lifetime. What follows
is an interesting collection of ideas and knowledge for self-defense.
How much can
you afford?
When you arrive at a funeral home, the car you drive and how you're
dressed will be quickly assessed. If your family is already known
in that area, the funeral director probably has a mental calculation
of your income and financial worth. But that's part of the funeral
director's job - to give you what you want. After all, a car dealer
won't try to sell you a Hyundai if it appears you can afford a Cadillac,
and a sensitive funeral director isn't going to insult an affluent
client by showing bottom-of-the-line merchandise. In fact, no one
wants the image of a down-and-outer, so you, too, will probably be
on your best behavior in this fancy establishment - probably a lot
fancier than what we'd find in your home if we walked in on you unannounced
just about now. While the formal aura of a funeral establishment is
set to honor the dead, it inherently intimidates the average person.
How will
you respond?
"Given your position in the community, I'm sure you'll want
to . . . " Flattery may open your pocketbook, or will it? Unless
you flaunt the funeral bill, it's more likely to be the personal
and unusual touches that your friends and neighbors remember about
a particular funeral.
"Your mother had excellent taste. When she made arrangements
for Aunt Nellie, this is what she chose. But is that the funeral
Dad wanted? Is there a good reason to have the same kind of funeral
again this time? Were the prices the same when Aunt Nellie died?
Or will the funeral director slip in something "extra"
or a little higher-priced if you simply say, "I want one just
like Aunt Nellie's. That was nice. ?"
"I'm sure you want the best for your mother. Who doesn't? What
is best for your family, however, may not have anything to do with
how much you spend.
Most of these
sample quotes fall into the category of controlling with guilt. It
may seem easier to go along with the offered suggestions (and high
prices) than try to justify that you're not "cheap" or unloving.
You're the only one who can determine the most loving and meaningful
way to say goodby. You might want to take a friend with you who would
help you resist unwanted sales pressures.
Suggested response: "If I spent according to how much
I care, I'd be penniless - I'd be paying you for the rest of my life!"
Funeral directors will usually ask how you plan to pay for the funeral,
to see if there is insurance to cover the costs. If a policy is made
out to the funeral director, you should find out if any unused portion
can be returned to the estate, if money is also needed for other expenses.
If a specific funeral home is not the beneficiary of an insurance policy,
it's probably better not to divulge the amount of any insurance. The
cost of an insurance- covered funeral has a strange way of ending up
to be just about the same amount as the policy, once that amount is
known.
If there is no funeral
insurance and family funds are limited, there should be no embarrassment
in admitting that early in the funeral arrangements - you're not alone.
Be careful about obligating yourself for more than you have to spend.
You don't need the burden of a debt while you're dealing with the grief
of a loss. By federal regulations, mortuaries must give prices over
the phone. Don't hesitate to shop around - it could save you thousands
of dollars. Or, your local Memorial Society may have done some of the
price shopping for you.
Understanding the paperwork
By federal law, you must be given a general price list (GPL), a casket
price list, and an outer burial container price list when you inquire
about arrangements and prices. You may keep the GPL. You must be given
an itemized statement of your final choices when contracting for a funeral,
as well. Make sure the final statement has only those items you have
selected. Take the time to get a total amount in ink, and sign the contract,
even if you were not asked to do so. That way, there is no question
about which contract is yours and how much you will owe - before the
funeral.
Professional
services fees
The FTC allows a mortuary establishment to set a nondeclineable fee
for professional services. You must pay this fee in addition to the
cost of specific funeral goods and services you select. The professional
services fee, as defined by the FTC, covers: the funeral director's
time in helping you plan the funeral, the time it takes to make arrangements
with a cemetery or crematory (or other funeral home if the body will
be shipped out of the area), the time needed to obtain required permits
including the death certificate, and for filing the obituary. Those
tasks can usually be accomplished in four hours or less, and one might
not expect this item to be a large expense. The FTC, however, also allows
this fee to cover "unallocated overhead." No other business
is so protected; all others must recoup their costs for capital investment,
taxes, insurance, answering services, and advertising by the price charged
for each item offered. Poor business practices can easily be protected
by this fee. According to the FTC's own studies during the 80s, this
fee rose 71% in just six years. Informal other studies since then show
that it is continuing to rise at an alarming rate. Unfortunately, in
the states where, by law, one must use a funeral director, the dead
body becomes a hostage of the funeral industry, regardless of any other
efforts you may make to control costs. Various consumer groups such
as the Memorial Societies have objected strongly to such coercive pricing
and will continue to do so. If you are a victim of such practices, be
sure to write to the FTC.
There is a great
deal of inconsistency in how the fee for professional services is established
from one funeral home to the next. Some mortuaries may set a high nondeclineable
fee and charge very little for use of staff and facilities for a funeral
service held at the funeral home. Others may have a lower fee and list
the specific charges for funeral staff more closely related to the actual
service you select.
To have the greatest
control over what you spend for a funeral, determine the type of funeral
you want. A memorial service at your church would limit the amount of
services required from a funeral home. In that case, finding one with
a low charge for the professional services fee may be important to your
pocketbook. An alternative in most states is to bypass the funeral industry
entirely. Caring for your own dead may be a meaningful as well as affordable
option and one that church groups especially might want to consider.
Caskets
The funeral industry studies buying patterns just like any other business
does. Interestingly, it was found that people tend to purchase one of
the first three caskets they were shown hurrying, perhaps, through a
difficult job. It isn't hard to figure out that among those first three
shown will be ones with a good profit margin for the mortuary.
When people are
shown a casket that costs $1,000, one that costs $1,800, and one that
costs $2,500, which would you guess gets picked most often? We are,
indeed, a society of middle-of-the-roaders. So if a funeral home wants
to make a bigger profit next year, there's a good chance that the first
three caskets shown might cost $1,800, $2,500, and $3,200 - and now
the $2,500-casket will become the popular model. Innerspring mattresses
are now common in such caskets - "They're more comfortable."
Of course, there
are well-made caskets that cost less than $400. But to discourage customers
from selecting low- end merchandise, these caskets often are ordered
in "ugly" colors - dull-gray with a peach lining, maybe -
or will be stored in an out-of-the-way place such as the basement. If
the price and basic design of a modest casket seem right for you, ask
what other colors can be ordered. Usually a funeral home can get a more
attractive replacement within hours.
It is illegal for
a funeral home to charge a handling fee (as of July 19, 1994) if you
wish to use a family-built casket or purchase one elsewhere. Some establishments
may make it inconvenient to use another firm's box, insisting that you
be present when the casket is delivered, so they won't be "responsible."
The consumer protection
established by the Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule makes it
illegal for morticians to tout the preservative qualities of a casket.
A "sealer" will not stop the natural process of decomposition.
A casket is not
required for cremation. All funeral homes must provide a minimum alternative
container. The least expensive would be a cardboard casket for perhaps
as low as $25. An unfinished wood or plywood box or a cloth-covered
casket should cost under $400.
Outer burial
containers
Outer burial containers (vaults or grave-liners) can be as expensive
and as fancy as caskets, with some prices going as high as $7,000 or
more. Undoubtedly, these may offer the casket some protection from ground
water - if the cemetery is built in a flood zone. In that case, you
could choose a "sealer" vault that's likely to float to the
surface during a flood, but what will you do then? A grave-liner is
usually less expensive than a vault, and a basic concrete model of either
(without the gold spray paint, bronze or marble lining) should be only
several hundred dollars. The vault or grave-liner keeps the ground from
settling after burial so the cemetery can enjoy easy mowing and maintenance.
Because not all cemeteries require a liner or vault, be sure to check
the policy for yourself, if you'd prefer to avoid this expense. No state
has a law requiring an outer burial container.
Embalming
Embalming is not required for most deaths. In a few states, embalming
may be necessitated by law when death occurs from a communicable disease.
When burial or cremation will be delayed for several days, refrigeration
can substitute for embalming. Not all funeral homes have refrigerated
storage, but most hospitals do. Some funeral homes - by policy - will
not allow the viewing of a body without embalming, but there is no state
law that says the body must be embalmed and restored to a life-like
condition for such an observance. In other countries, embalming is seldom
done.
The cost of embalming will be listed on the GPL, but there may be additional
charges such as "other preparation of the body" - dressing
and casketing. For some families, dressing Grandma and fixing her hair
might be a loving way to say good-bye, and this fee should be negotiable.
Shelter of remains
This may not appear on your price list at all, but, if it does, it should
apply only after the four or five days that it might take to complete
all funeral arrangements. The FTC does not permit a storage fee during
usual funeral transactions.
Forwarding remains
All general price lists will carry a charge for the handling of a body
to be shipped out of the area. The price should carry a description
of what is covered and most usually include: necessary paperwork and
staff time, local transportation of the body, embalming, scheduling
shipment, and a shipping container. This price is a useful comparison
for a "direct burial" charge. Because embalming would not
be needed for an immediate burial and all other services are just about
the same, one would think that a direct burial would be less. On the
contrary, it is often twice as much. It may be possible for you to schedule
and supervise the burial at the cemetery yourself, but make sure the
cemetery will cooperate and has the equipment for lowering the casket
into the grave. In that case, ask for the "forwarding of remains"
option, with the cemetery rather than the airport as the destination.
Also ask to have the charge for embalming subtracted if you do not want
that option. The general price list will have a charge for "basic
services of staff." Generally, the description states, "This
charge is included in our fee for forwarding remains." Therefore,
there should be no other expenses, although the mortician will be quite
unhappy with this low-cost choice.
Beware of misleading package fees
If you are price-shopping among several funeral homes for a "direct
cremation," be sure to ask if the package price includes the cost
of a minimum container and the cost for the cremation process. Many
funeral homes do not have their own crematory, and this will be an additional
expense which may not be apparent on first inquiry. If you are choosing
"direct burial," one package price may be a lot higher than
another because it not only includes a minimum casket, it also includes
a grave-liner or vault and possibly a fee for opening and closing the
grave.
Cash advances
The services of others may be desired when arranging a funeral: an organist,
the obituary, special flower arrangements, or cremation. Some funeral
homes add a fee for arranging these, but it must be so stated on the
price list, something like, "We charge you for purchasing these
goods and services." When a funeral director says, "We'll
take care of everything - we'll get the new lettering on the stone -"
you probably will be paying a lot more. While it may meet your needs
to let the funeral home make these arrangements for you, you may wish
to consider making these contacts on your own.
Body donation
If a body is going to a medical school for scientific study, make sure
you check with the medical school first on delivery procedures and costs.
The school may have its own transportation contract for which you should
not be billed if you follow its guidelines.
Family sharing
The most effective way to avoid excessive purchases at a time of emotional
vulnerability is to talk about funeral wishes with your family ahead
of time. When you can put this in writing, it will be much easier for
survivors to make thoughtful and caring decisions.
Options and Tips
Affordable Options:
A Guide to Funeral Planning
To plan your funeral is sensible,economical, and considerate. It will
be your funeral.Your family or your estate will have to pay for it.
When you plan the kind of arrangements you AND your family want, you
. . .
- save needless
expense
- secure peace
of mind
- smooth the way
for those you leave behind.
When a person dies,
there are two tasks at hand: one is the timely disposition of the body,
the other is commemorating the life that was lived. When you can separate
those two events, there will be more possibility for saving money. How
much you choose to spend may influence your decisions.
Body burial
costs depend on the casket selected, the services provided by the mortician,
and the charges made by the cemetery (the grave site, the vault or liner,
opening and closing the grave, the marker or monument, and perpetual
care), Costs could range from $800 to well over $5,000.
Grave liners (usually
cement slabs) are not legally required but are mandated by many cemeteries
to keep the ground from settling. Coffin vaults, which serve the same
purpose as grave liners, cost nearly twice as much, if not more.
If you, or someone close to you, own land outside the village or city
limits, home burial may be an economical and preferred option in some
states.
Except in special cases, embalming is not required. Embalming is rarely
used in other countries. Refrigeration may be used to preserve a body
when there will be a delay in cremation.
Cremation
is increasingly popular. It accomplishes in a few hours what nature
takes years to complete. A modest container, rather than an expensive
casket is generally used, and total costs range from about $200 to well
over $1,000. Many crematories will work directly with a family for substantial
savings, but all permits must be in order, accompanied by a death certificate.
Cremated remains-cremains-may be scattered,buried, or stored in an urn.
They can be easily transported or inexpensively shipped. Their disposition
can be handled by the next-of-kin or a designee. Although some denominations
oppose cremation,the majority accepts it.
Bequeathal
of your body to a medical school is another option. Many medical schools
value a body for teaching or research purposes and may pay for transportation
and final disposition, usually cremation. If requested, some medical
colleges will return the cremains to the family for disposition.
It is important
to have a written agreement with a medical school, and it is essential
to have alternative plans. The circumstances of your death may render
your body unacceptable for teaching purposes. Autopsies are valuable
for medical science, and organ transplants give priceless benefits to
recipients. Most medical schools do not accept a body on which an autopsy
has been performed or from which organs (other than corneas) have been
removed.
Aside from the disposition
of your body, there is the question of the kind of service you prefer.
Should it be formal or informal? Public or private? A funeral or a memorial
service?
A funeral service is one with the body present. Therefore, it is held
soon after death occurs, generally in a religious setting or mortuary.
There is also the option, as in days past,to have a funeral at your
own or family home.
A memorial service
is held without the body present and does not require extensive services
or the expense of a mortician. It can be scheduled several days or weeks
after death occurs, allowing time for far-away family or friends to
gather.
A committal service may be held at the graveside immediately before
burial or in a crematory chapel before cremation.
Many people prefer
to dispense with a committal service. Others dispense with services
altogether. But generally some sort of observance-public or private,
in a religious or familiar setting, with or without ritual, is helpful
for promoting the acceptance of death.
Discuss your preferences
with family members and your minister, priest, or rabbi. Discussion
will help you decide on the kind of services most suitable for you and
your family. If your funeral is a topic that is difficult to bring up,
sharing printed information may be a way to begin. Your local Funeral
Consumers Alliance has this online information in attractive brochures,
as a benefit of membership. And remember, your Alliance has probably
done the price- shopping for you.
When you make a
will or purchase insurance, you are planning for your death and the
lives of your survivors. By planning your final arrangements you are
doing precisely the same thing: smoothing the way for your survivors.
All Information
taken from:
Be Aware
http://www.funerals.org/faq/tricks.htm
Options &
Tips
http://www.funerals.org/faq/planning.htm
